When romance goes down the tube(s), go with the flow
You’ve never heard of snuggle tubing.
That’s because a new gimmick for singles crops up every day. From cuddle parties to singles nights at Wal-Mart, as long as there are singles to make money off of, companies will devise absurd things for us to do.
After dating Deb for more than six months, it wasn’t hard to convince her we needed to mix things up. Our typical date — sitting on the couch and talking about what to do for dinner — was getting a little old.
Snuggle tubing, then, sounded perfect. Regular “tubing,” an activity meant for water enthusiasts too lazy to kayak, involves sitting on a large circular rubber tube and floating down a river in the hope of returning to where you parked your car.
A snuggle tube is simply two such tubes attached together so a couple can sit together and snuggle as they float. Sound beautiful? Romantic? Relaxing?
Maybe for you. Not for me.
Only two places offer snuggle tubing, according to the Internet. One place is in the Caribbean, and the other one is on the Delaware River between Pennsylvania and New Jersey. How could I pass up the chance to experience the Delaware River, where 265,000 gallons of oil spilled just last year?
So the Delaware it was. We chose a perfect day without a cloud in the sky, and I was excited about doing something requiring little strength, intelligence or clothing. What could go wrong?
Well, the snuggle part, for one. And also the tubing part.
There’s something unnerving about being attached to someone with no possibility of escape. For example, let’s say you and your date get into an argument the very second you float into the water.
Let’s say you thought snuggle tubing was supposed to be relaxing, and that’s why you didn’t pay attention to the snuggle tube instructions beforehand.